Monday, March 15, 2010

An Organic Wedding

We want our wedding to be organic.  I'm not talking about food or flowers or fabrics, though.  I'm talking about timelines and scripting and programs.  We will not be adhering to a strict timeline for our wedding; just general guidelines on the flow of things.  We want things to happen naturally and not feel forced.  We want to enjoy ourselves on our wedding day instead of being micromanaged by a Day of Coordinator (DOC).  We want to do what feels right in the moment and not blindly adhere to a list of things you must do on your wedding day.
(Loved Frank in the movie, but on my wedding day, notsomuch.  Source)

To accomplish this, we have made a series of calculated decisions.  Our venue doesn't require weddings to start or end at any particular time.  We have the lodge for 2 nights so we can rehearse if we feel like it the night before the wedding, and on our wedding day we can start as early as we want and end as late as we want.  So long as we're out by Sunday at 10 a.m., we're golden.  We've decided not to hire a DOC, but instead have asked the Mister's sister to operate as our informal DOC.  That way we have someone to step in and provide some direction to our guests as needed, but we don't have to worry about someone telling us what we "need" to do next at every turn.*  Finally, we're scrapping a lot of the typical things that you see at weddings, at least in our neck of the woods.  No bouquet toss, no garter toss, no dollar dance (don't even get me started on this one), no slideshow, no grand entrance, no forced "making the rounds" during dinner.  Besides our somewhat traditional scripted ceremony, the first dances and the cake cutting, I can't really think of any "traditional" elements we are incorporating.  And I like it that way.  I'll "make the rounds" when I damn well please thankyouverymuch.

*Well after we decided not to have a DOC, I ended up having a conversation with a DOC who was trying to convince me of all the reasons why I needed a DOC.  The conversation pretty much consisted of her telling me how she would be there rightbymyside the whole time making sure I stuck to the schedule.  Barf.  The only good thing that came out of this convo was that I'm pretty much guaranteed to never second guess my decision not to hire a DOC.


miss fancy pants (the bride) said...

"No bouquet toss, no garter toss, no dollar dance (don't even get me started on this one), no slideshow, no grand entrance, no forced "making the rounds" during dinner."

You just described our wedding too, haha. It's so awesome that you've found a location that you can have that kind of freedom, it's definitely hard to come by. In fact, it was so hard for us to find, that we're opting to have our wedding at my family's cottage because well, technically, the only on-site coordinators are my grandparents because they own the place. I always laugh at wedding shows where the biggest source of stress is the looming timeline, it always boggles my mind how worried they are about sticking to a schedule. I have absolutely no desire to be rushed through my wedding day and I definitely don't want someone forcing me to stick to it, so we've opted for a more casual/family friend DOC too. It sounds like you'll definitely get the wedding you're looking for!

dognbird said...

Love this, feel the same way about my upcoming wedding. Thank you for the ideas on how to manage the time in a loose way.

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