Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Nerve of People

The other day one of the secretaries at my work came into my office to bring me my mail.  As she walked into my office, she read my full name off of an envelope:  "Erica Lynn [short and very common English last name]"  Then she asked me what my new last name is going to be once I get married.  I almost wanted to say I was keeping my maiden name just to make her realize that she shouldn't assume that a woman will always change her last name when she gets married.  But I do plan on changing my last name, so I didn't want to lie to her.  Plus, knowing this particular secretary fairly well, I know I'd get a whole heap of judgment about not changing my name and a barrage of questions such as "what about your children?"  Again with the assumptions.  So I told her the Mister's last name and then she said aloud: "Erica Lynn [short and very common Hispanic last name]."  Swear to god, the next thing out of her mouth was this "eh" sound with a slight look of disgust, and a comment that it didn't flow as well as my maiden name but that "I'll have to make it work."


First of all, my new last name will "flow" with my first and middle names just as well as my maiden name.  In fact, I think my new last name will actually sound a little bit better with just my first name than my maiden name does.  Together my first name and new last name have a sort of singsong quality to them that my current name does not.  So, she clearly doesn't know what she's talking about.  Which can only lead me to think that the reason she thinks that my new Hispanic last name doesn't "flow" is because I'm not Hispanic and couldn't even pass as Hispanic if I tried.  I mean, it's not like "Erica" is an uncommon name for Latinas, so it certainly can't be that I have a super Anglo first name that doesn't "go" (whatever that means) with a Hispanic last name.

Whatever.  Since I already knew this particular secretary is pretty ignorant (don't even get me started on the misinformed things I heard her say during the Prop 8 campaign) I shouldn't really be surprised.  But still.  The nerve of people sometimes.


miss fancy pants (the bride) said...

Wow, that lady has got some serious gall; I'm sorry that happened to you! Even if I did think someone's new name wasn't as great as their maiden name, I don't think I'd ever have the nerve to say it to their face. But hey, as long as you're happy and he's happy, that's all that really matters.

Chocolate Lover said...

Yup, people can definitely surprise you in not so pleasant ways! But at the end of the day, her opinion really doesn't matter, so just ignore her!

Amy said...

Hi Erica! I found you on Weddingbee and I am so excited to read more about you!

She has no tact at all. She probably only made that comment because she's used to your current name, and people tend to be resistant to change.

I wish that a mirror existed that, when people gazed into it, the mirror would show them how they appear to others. Because honestly, I think some people just have no idea the vibes they're putting out there.

Mareeyah said...

I think it shouldn't matter whether your new surname will sound "beautiful" with your first name or not (maybe except in the unfortunate case of some embarrassing surnames which are similar to some vulgar words). What's important is that you're in love. Just as a rose by any other name would still smell sweet. Cheer up :-D

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