Monday, July 12, 2010

Lessons Learned

In case you haven't noticed, I've been M.I.A. the past week.  The Mister and I flew to Colorado Thursday morning and just got back Sunday afternoon to attend our officiant's wedding.  The Mister was the best man, so we got in early to help them out as much as we could.  And boy did we.

The lesson I took away from this weekend was that if you want to DIY a ton of stuff in the days before your wedding, you need to make sure you've got the appropriate amount of helpers to get the job done.  And you need to make sure those helpers are reliable and will actually work instead of just sitting around and treating your project time like a social hour.  If you can't secure the help, you need to scale your DIY plans back or else you run the risk of burning out those helpers you do have.  While I was more than happy to volunteer to work (and work hard) toward making their day beautiful, I didn't just work hard...I was worked to the bone.

Case in point:  The bride had asked 8 or so ladies to help out with cleaning, wiring and trimming $1100 worth of wholesale flowers, and I'd say that 80% of that work was done by me and one other girl, and we did it in one six hour marathon session.  Most of the helpers didn't even show up, and one had the balls to show up four hours into the process, do about a half hour of work, then sit around for an hour and watch us work, and then leave because she "had stuff to do."  The flowers were just the tip of the iceberg.  My group of friends were not supposed to help out with setting up the reception, but when we arrived at the reception site to drop off the flowers two hours before the start time, they had done NOTHING and the people who were assigned to set up were (mostly) just sitting around talking.  The 9 or so of us who transported the flowers kicked into hyperdrive and got.shit.done.  And thank god we did, because I honestly think that they would not have gotten it done without us.

By the time the reception rolled around, I was exhausted and not in the greatest mood.  Eventually I was able to relax and enjoy myself, thanks to some yummy champagne and good tunes.  But when it was all said and done, the Mister and I were lying in bed and pretty much said to each other in unison that we were NOT going to do this to our friends when it's time for our wedding.  Period, end of story.  I'd rather let details and best laid plans fall to the wayside than put that kind of pressure and stress on our friends.  It's just not worth it.


JEM - Aqua Bride said...

wow. I totally know what you mean. Four years ago, my sister got married and I was like the exorcist with my head spinning in every direction. By the time the wedding started, I was so exhausted and in a bad mood and add to that being the MOH. I really can;t say I enjoyed myself but at least my sister did.

Sara said...

i agree with this 100%....honestly, I know that sometimes from the Bride and Groom's perspective it makes the most sense to save the money and have friends/family help. But having experiance of being on the "helping" end, I felt like a chicken with my head cut off trying to make everything come together. When it came to planning our wedding, we didnt want that for us or our guests. There is something to be said for leaving it to the professionals or better yet, not overplanning in the first place.

jacin said...

wow - champagne does help solve everything though, doesn't it :)

that would have put me in to an anxiety rage :) but like you i'd grin and bear it too. some people are so surprising with the underestimation of how much time it takes to get things done, and to get them done right!! that's so nice of you to help them out, i know they probably appreciate it more than you know!

Ghenet said...

Ugh. I hope to have everything done a week before the wedding. I don't want to make my friends/family kill themselves to help me out. You're a good friend for putting in all that work, while everyone else was sitting around.

Chocolate Lover said...

I can only imagine how much stress that all was! So nice of you to help her out though. Bet she appreciated your reliability and assistance! Glad you were able to enjoy the wedding a little too.

nicoliolihpf said...

I am so with you! A couple of my friends got married a few years ago, and the wedding party and close family (and me) were all engaged in setting up for like half the day! It was ridiculous and stressful, and I would never want to deal with that or have the people I really care about dealing with that on my wedding day.

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